Two dates

I have been in the dating game for a couple of years now.  That can't be, you say, you're 28 in November...how is it only a few years???

Let me explain.

I didn't date in high school.  I was busy being smart and not paying attention to guys.  I could have dated...there were opportunities when I look back, but I was so oblivious that it never happened.

In college, I tried dating...once.  It lasted a few months.  I didn't like it.  He was a jealous type and  at the same time seemed almost uninterested in me.  

So after we were over, I didn't date.  I had a ton of friends and just had a good time.  I was happy with this.  I wasn't looking for a relationship.

Then two kind of happened back to back.  I started dating this one guy who was perfect for me on paper, but there just wasn't chemistry.  While I was dating him, I met "Derkin", again, not expecting a relationship, and we only had chemistry.  

That dangum relationship lasted two years...during which we both tried to convince ourselves that we were happy...we weren't.  

After we were done, I again had no interest in dating.  I didn't have interest in anyone.  I'm going to be honest, I was a bit heart-broken and just wanted a break from everything.  That lasted for a year or two, then I started dating again.

I haven't made it past date two with ANY of the guys I've gone out with.  And there have been a lot.  Some have been on my part, some were on them.  

Here's the way that works...if I'm not interested, or am not feeling it, I break it off.  If I'm interested and want to continue, they keep acting like they want to see me again, but a third date never happens.

This is starting to hurt my feelings.  I'm pretty awesome.  Have you seen the "over attached girlfriend" meme on the interwebs?  If not, look that shit up.  Anyways, I am NOT like that girl at all...yet she's a girlfriend!!!

After several drinks of tequila tonight (even though this is posting the next day if I schedule it right), I have decided that I'm just going to stop seriously dating anyone.  

I'm tired of texting and getting my hopes up and getting all these "girl" feelings and then having them smashed to bits.  

I may keep dating casually, but I am resolute in that Massimo will be the only "guy" in my life.