I stink...I know.

Wow, it's been AGES since I've blogged!  I think it was early this week.  Whew, I have been busy and then I honestly just forget.

I got the nifty Blogger app for my Droid, but I find that I make more typos when going mobile and if you know me, you know how much that bothers me.  The other day I read back through my mobile postings and edited them.  Yeah, I'm a huge über nerd dork.  Sue me.

Where have I been this week?  Honestly, half my brain just took a vacation, I think.  Work has been stressful, but I haven't been stress eating, which is amazeballs.  I went grocery shopping and bought some essentials, sticking strictly to my list.  I even bought and wrapped an extra bunch of cilantro so I won't have to go to the store again for at least a week.  P.S. Have I mentioned that I'm addicted to fresh cilantro?  I am.  I need to grow it myself, but I don't think the plant could grow as fast as I want to eat it.  I'm in the process of moving my current food journal to a smaller book.  I made one million mini cupcakes and some regular cupcakes last night for a donation to the local Race for the Cure that my aunt is helping and donating all of her time to this weekend. 

I looked so strange last night.  I knew I wouldn't have time to get in a real workout, so I did squats while scooping out the batter and danced and jiggled my butt off for a few hours.  Not a traditional work out, but at least I was moving and doing something.

I have yet to get in ANY real cardio work.  I'm a little sad about it.  I keep seeing these little blurps on Pinterest saying "I regret that run yesterday...says no one, ever".  It makes me sad.  I want to get out there and get started on cardio whoring, and I think about it every.single.day. but I just haven't DONE ANYTHING YET!  Also, I'm trying to get in a little better shape and get in the mindset of working out everyday, but I feel like I could do more.  Heavier weights, actual cardio, longer sets. 

Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love, love the HIIT training that I'm doing, but I think I would feel better if I were using heavier weights.  I can't afford weights though, so poo on that.  I can't afford a gym membership, and let's be for reals for a moment, I don't want to stand next to all those skinny bitches in bras and spandex pants.  Bitches.

I did treat myself and buy a new sports bra last night.  It is freaking comfortable.  By Champion.  It was on clearance for $12.00.  I figured, why not buy this bright orange thing and just see how it does?  I'm always on a quest for comfortable sports bras that don't give me a huge UNIBOOB.  Oh, let me disclaimer that with I have 40DDD boobs.  Yes, I have been "blessed" with gigantic boobs.  I haven't been smaller than a 38DD since freshman year in High School.  Go me.  <Utmost sarcasm here>

I'm going to start killing myself in my workouts.  Not literally, of course, I kind of enjoy life sometimes, but it will feel very literal as I'm puffing and gasping for breath and my muscles are screaming.  I'm going to start walking at night, or evenings rather.  Just put on some clothes and the running shoes that I just had to buy several months ago and walk.  Until I get a horrid stitch in my side and feel like my legs are dying and my lungs can't get enough air in them.  I might want to bring my phone with me in case I have an asthma attack, but I have to do it.

I'm so tired of not liking myself.

Great, and now I'm crying. 

What a loser.