Ombre

There's this new trend called Ombre.  Ombre your hair, ombre your clothes, ombre your furniture, ombre your nails, etc.  I tried the nails part...at least to see what all the hub-bub is about.

Just do a google search and you'll see.  Beware the hair trend though...looks like your roots have gone wild and you need a new dye job.

I digress.

Result:

Not bad.

Not great either.

I can see what all the fuss is about.  From a distance, my nails look super cute.  Up close...kind of looks like I smeared unicorn poop on my fingers.

I did discover that if you smear diaper rash cream (the petroleum jelly kind) around your fingers, then the polish cleans up super easy with just a q-tip.  Don't judge...it was all I had in the house from a previous experiment with elbow softening...and what else am I going to use it for?

Also, I discovered that nail polish eats through styrofoam...kind of turns it gooey and gross.

Anyways, as per usual, they only lasted a few days.  Wah-wahhh.

I'll try ombre again.  Maybe if I did it on my sister's nails and got some practice in it wouldn't look so crap-tastic up close.  Also, the sublte ombre colors seem like they'd be a waste of time.  You need to go drastic or go home.  Ha.

Oh, I'm tired... Adolf (that's the name I gave the mockingbird...hey, might as well since he's a part of my life now) is relentless.  I've decided he doesn't care about the ladies and his sole purpose in his life is to torment. 

Death by Chocolate

I went very light on my workouts last week.  I just felt uninspired and...well...lazy.  Not to mention, there was a holiday, and food comsumption, and everyone deserves lazy days.  I had been craving something completely indulgent last week so I went ahead and made these:

Yes, this is a death by chocolate cupcake.  It's a double fudge cupcake with a gooey brownie in the middle with double chocolate fudge icing...

I had a difficult time eating this one cupcake.  I didn't frost all of them...thank goodness!  This is one cupcake that does NOT need frosting.  Trust me.  This is coming from a girl who thinks cupcakes are just vessels for frosting to get to my mouth.  I made 24 of these bad boys, ate this one and gave the rest away.  Katie took about a dozen to work with her where they were promptly inhaled, then I took 10 to the pub with us on Saturday and gave them to our friends.

Literally, the moistest, most chocaletey cupcake I've ever made, but one was enough to satisfy my craving for indulgence.

So since I didn't frost the cupcakes, I have enough double chocolate buttercream to put 20 diabetics in a coma.  I don't want to eat it, but I don't want it to go to waste.  I asked my facebook friends if anyone wanted a cake, but surprisingly, I didn't get any takers.  Maybe they didn't think I was serious.

I guess I'll have to make some cupcakes tonight and have Katie bring them into work again.  I just can't waste buttercream and I can whip up some vanilla cupcakes easy peasy.  Escpecially since the mockingbird is still at it and I am still without sleep.

Are mockingbirds allergic to chocolate?  I may have a way to get rid of him, if so..............

New table

Along with my sleep deprevation, I've been working on refinishing my living room coffee table.  I just couldn't take it's amber colored varnish anymore.

This is the before...well, I didn't take a real before...I thought of taking a picture after I had already wood puddy'd the whole thing.  I have it on plastic plates so that I wouldn't get anything on my carpet.

Then my mom and I took it outside and sanded the whole thing down and washed it with a warm wet rag to get the dust off.  This was boring and looked the same so I didn't take a picture.

Then we covered the whole thing in primer.  This was a several day process.  My mom stopped helping me after the sanding bit...she hates refinishing furniture.  If you need anything reupholstered though, she's your gal.

So I had to paint the top, let it dry for a day.  Paint the top, let it dry for a day.  Flip it over.  Paint the sides and the legs, let it dry for a day.  Paint the sides and the legs, let it dry for a day.  Flip it over.  You get the idea.  Basically, I kept flipping it and covering it with primer until it was white.

Then the color began.  I toyed around with a few different ideas, but when I found a gallon of a navy blue on sale for $5, I decided navy blue would be the primary color.  The sample almost looked black, but I'm glad it turned up lighter than that.

Here's the finished product:

It was still kind of wet here, that's why it looks two-toned.  I kept the sides white (painted over the primer with an acrylic paint), then did the legs and top in the navy.  Detailing the sides took a few hours because painters tape is a crap shoot on projects like this.

Now all I have to do is apply furniture wax, as per several "professional" refinishers.  They state that the wax yields a better end result than the varnishes and such.  It took a long time...weeks...but I think the end product was worth it.

I'm so freaking proud of myself!  It looks great!

A little birdie is trying to kill me

I've been kind of M.I.A. lately.  There was a holiday and family time, etc.  The real reason:  There is a mockingbird that has taken up residence outside my bedroom window.  Not just any mockingbird.  The pimp daddy of all male viral ready-to-mate mockingbirds.  Little known fact...male mockingbirds call non-stop all night in order to attract a female...because the competition is less at night.  If it were a seagull and was repetitive, I might get used to it.  No.  It is not repetitive, you cannot drown it out, you cannot ignore it, you cannot put a pillow over your face and meditate it away.  This beast of tortuous vocal abilities knows every dang bird call in the United States of America.  He even pulled out some toucan last night.  I swear to you.

I have never wanted to own a gun so much in my life.  I feel like Zooey's character in "Failure to Launch"...driven to drinking and madness and randomly wandering the isles of the local sport stores, asking which gun would do the most damage to a small bird.  I know I would never actually be able to hurt the dang thing, but the insanity has GOT TO STOP!!! 

Anyone have a large owl decoy I can borrow for a bit?

Anyways, my recent sleep deprevation has further deprived my "polite non-sarcastic in public" filter and I've had to avoid most people for fear of insulting beyond acceptable levels.

For example, my dear friends met my sister and I out at a little pub in town this past weekend.  Said friends are very used to my lack of filter and usually laugh at the rediculous things that come out of my mouth sometimes.  I was even less filter-y than usual on Saturday and after discussing with myself loudly the wonderful transvestite-like makeup on this lady who came in and sat near us (I mean, this girl could use the bronzer and eyebrow pencil), their group got up and moved across the pub.  After my friends calmed down from laughing so hard, they explained my lack of filter was going to get us into trouble.

It didn't, but I certainly kept my friends entertained that night. 

Mean, sarcastic, and sleep deprived.  Stay out of my way until a little birdie gets laid and leaves town.